The Freakonomy

I just wanted to write a quick note to express my disgust with the economy. If I told you precisely what Kimberly and I make each year, most of you would expect we lived in a McMansion and we had matching BMWs in the driveway. But this is Northern Virginia, one of the most overpriced places on this planet. We're only here because this is where our jobs are, and there's no way in hell we could sell and relocate now.

We've gotten several letters in the mail, all singing the praises of FHA refinances and loan modification. Uh, how dumb are these people? No one these days has money for closing costs. I know I don't. And house values have fallen so damn far you need to go spelunking to pull them out of the hole. It's infuriating. And loan modifications, even though I don't know much about them, seem to require thousands of dollars up front. Great. To get yourself a little more out of debt, you get yourself a lot more in debt. That makes sense, yes.

Eighteen years from now, a year of college tuition - at a public university, mind you - is projected to cost $50,000. How the f*&k am I going to send Richard to college? Just my salary alone sets us way over the limit for financial aid. Of course, the dopes in those financial aid offices think a rose is a rose is a rose and say, $100,000/year in New York City is the same as $100,000/year in Missoula, Montana. I refuse to burden my son with a six-figure pile of debt when he goes into the working world. My family worked their asses off for years so Katie and I didn't need loans. A big part of being a parent is to give your kid every chance you had and more, right? Am I wrong here? No, I'm not.

Someone actually suggested to me I stop paying my mortgage so my loan servicer would be more than happy to negotiate with me. Who the... what the... how... whatever. If I stop paying my mortgage for any reason, my credit rating plunges. That means I lose my secret security clearance. That means I lose my job. I don't have tens of thousands of dollars sitting around to support my family while I hunt for something that pays as well and doesn't require clearance.

We've cut every expense we can. We go to work, we come home, we go to church, that's it. We keep track of every penny that goes out, and every penny that comes in. These days, it feels like only pennies. Kimberly and I are both looking to start freelancing in addition to working 40+ hours/week at our current jobs. We are so, so tired.

This may not sound related, but I should not have gone to the Washington Auto Show this past weekend. There were so many cars there that would usually be in my price range, and God forgive me, I became green with envy at people who could afford them. I hate it when I go to that place. I'm a huge car enthusiast, and I've never had a car to be enthusiastic about. I can't stand to see those Sweet Sixteen shows on MTV or whatever they're called, because it only reminds me of the quicksand so many Americans are standing in while children are being handed $90,000 cars and have birthday parties that cost more than what most people make in a year, some in a lifetime. Despite my father being a corporate VP, for my 16th birthday, I got a Van Halen t-shirt, some CDs, and we ate cheeseburgers. I drove a 1981 Volvo wagon with a 2-speaker radio and no air conditioning.

All told, I am grateful for my Lord and Savior, my family, friends, our good jobs, cars that function and are paid off, and our home. So many people, here and around the world, don't have any of that. I try to tell myself that when Kimberly and I become frustrated with money to the point we feel utterly hopeless. Even with all the ranting I do here, I commend all of you to look to what God has given you when you feel you have nothing. Sometimes it isn't easy. I usually suck at it.

Like everyone else, I want to thrive. Not so much for me, but for my wife and my son. Just getting by will not do for much longer. But please, Lord, don't let me lose myself in the process.